


Blushes, Brushes and Crushes

by itbelynx



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Body Paint, Comfort/Angst, Embedded Images, F/M, Fanart, First Kiss, Mutual Pining, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-04
Updated: 2019-10-04
Packaged: 2020-11-23 21:49:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,798
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20896631
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/itbelynx/pseuds/itbelynx
Summary: This was for the Widojest server collab!! I had too much fun writing this. Its a little angsty in the middle and I am both sorry for it and not sorry at all. Please enjoy!





	Blushes, Brushes and Crushes

The world melted away from Caleb as he lost himself to his memories at the smell of burning flesh. He couldn’t respond to his friends as they spoke to him. It was all muffled garbage in his brain. All he could hear was the screams of his parents. He hadn’t even registered that they were out of danger until an hour later when he sat in his room in Xhorhas. He assumed he must have teleported them all home subconsciously because he sure didn’t remember. 

He looked down at his hands, expecting to find them still lightly blackened from the fire he had cast, but instead found his hands and arms covered in paint. Intricate flowers and waves danced up his arms to him elbows. Caleb dragged his fingers along his arms gently as a small smile crossed his face.  _ Jester. _

Without thinking, he stood up and walked out to the rest of the house. He found Jester and Nott sitting at the table with Caduceus making something in the kitchen. He made his way over to them. 

“Caleb!” Jester’s smile was infectious and Caleb couldn’t help but copy it. “How are you feeling?”

“Better, danke. Did we… win? Or whatever it was we were doing?” He asked, sitting across from the two women. 

“Thanks to you destroying Obann, and Fjord dealing the killing blow on the Laughing Hand, we were able to get Yasha out of there,” Nott explained. “We were hoping you might try to take a look at that weird thing on the back of Yasha’s head when you were feeling better.”

“Ja, I can do that. Where is she?” 

“Upstairs. Beau is talking to her to try and get some information about Obann before we go to the Bright Queen tomorrow morning,” Jester said as Cad came by with some hot chocolate. 

“It can wait, then. I’ll let Beau and Yasha talk,” he turned to Jester. “I actually wanted to ask if you were the culprit behind  _ these. _ ” He brought his hands and arms up onto the table.

“I hope that was okay! I didn’t know how else to help you when you went catatonic. You were out of it for a while. I did it to help you come back to us a bit before you teleported us back home.”

Caleb laughed softly. “It is okay, I assure you. They are quite lovely paintings.” 

Jester smiled in return. Caleb loved being the reason that a smile crossed across that face. He would never admit but somewhere along the way in their adventures, he had started to care for Jester. He was undeserving of her love, but that didn’t stop him from trying to get her to smile. 

“I have one more question. Would you mind doing this more often? It vaguely remember it being very calming, so it might be nice outside of when I go into a trance.” This was stupid. He could tell just by the shocked expression on her face. He shouldn’t have asked. 

“I’d love to! You just might have to help with the paint funds, okay?” 

Caleb, who had been about to start apologizing, stopped and looked at her with an expression that he hoped was something sincere. “Thank you, Jester.” 

~~~

About a week and a half later, they found themselves on the road in the Empire. Essek still wanted them to try to find the missing Beacon, so they had teleported to Zadash and were now on their way to Rexentrumm. Jester and Caleb sat in the cart they had purchased. Neither were talking, both wrapped up in some new books they had purchased in Zadash. Caleb hadn’t seen what she had grabbed but it was nice to not be the only one reading on their adventures now. 

He found himself staring at her more often than reading. He admired the way she giggled to herself as she read, and the way the sunshine made her look like she was sunshine incarnate as it bounce off of her. Between all the sparkles, it was amazing she could be as sneaky as she is with the way light reflected off her outfit and hair. 

Caleb must have been staring too long because suddenly, Jester was looking at him with a raised eyebrow. 

“What are you staring at? Is there something on me face?” Her hand immediately reached up to rub at her cheek. 

“No, no. There’s nothing on you. It is just nice to read with you,” he smiled. It wasn’t the whole truth, but it wasn’t a whole lie either. 

Jester smiled. “I used to read a lot back home. There wasn’t much else to do other than play pranks on people, but that was mostly at night. So, during the day, I would get a book and read it, and sometimes draw on my walls what my mind created out of the stories I read.” 

“I bet you created quite the mural.” Caleb half wished he had asked to see her bedroom back in Necodranes. He would have adored all the artwork. “I’m betting there was some interpretations with the Traveler, ja?”

“Oh, so many! Most of my wall was covered in little drawings of him and I going on adventures.”

“And what about now? What adventures are happening in this book?” He asked, nodding towards the tomb in her lap.

“Oh! It’s nothing really. Just a little thing I picked up about… flowers.” 

Caleb smiled and was quiet for a moment. Was that a hint of a blush on the tiefling’s face? Or was he imagining it. Surely, he must be. He looked away for a moment, tossing the thought aside before looking back to her. “Would you mind painting on me?” 

“Of course!” She beamed. “I can’t guarantee how good it will be because we’re on a cart, but I will try.” 

Jester got out her paints as Caleb removed his coat and pulled his sleeves up to a bit past his elbows. She sat across from him and took one of his hands and began to paint. It tickled at first, but he got used to it. What started as just a blue arm, not dissimilar to the color of her own, turned into a sunset on the beach. It was beautiful. 

“There’s one arm. Do you want me to do the other one?” 

“Let’s keep it at one for now.” He couldn’t tell her that during all of that he had been unable to speak, could barely even breathe. He had simply stared at her while she painted. He found it adorable that she stuck out her tongue during the more intricate designs, and how her brow furrowed when something didn’t come out like she thought it would. 

“Okay! Let me know when you want to do this again! It was a lot of fun. Maybe I can see if Nott will let me paint flowers on her arms and face.” 

And with that she was off, leaving Caleb to his thoughts and regrets. He smiled as he watched her paint Nott and even herself. That night she also painted others in the group. And he watched through all of that as well, thoroughly entranced by her way to lift everyone’s spirits. 

~~~

They reached a small village on the outskirts of the capital. Caleb had recognized it. This was where he had grown up. Memories danced in front of him as they walked through. He kept his hood up, not wanting to be recognized here. This would hurt too much. 

Though nothing hurt more than seeing the spot where his house once stood. He didn’t realize he had gotten off the cart until he found himself standing in front of the bits of wood and debris that miraculously hadn’t caught fire. He felt a chill run down his spine as he stared at the rubble. He felt a small hand in his own, as well as another on his shoulder. He didn’t need to look to know that it was Nott and Beau. They were the only ones who knew the full details of his past, the only ones who knew what this meant. He squeezed Nott’s hand and used his other to reach up and rest it on Beau’s fingers. 

“You gonna be okay, man?” 

“No,” he said truthfully through a lump in his throat. “This… was my home.” He heard the others come around now. “I grew up in this village. We didn't have much. We farmed right over here." He pointed to the very dead pasture. The barn, miraculously, was still standing. He would have assumed they would have torn it down at some point. 

Caleb, almost in a trance, let go of Beau and Nott and made his way into the rubble home. All that was left was some support beams, a couple of walls, and the main door frame. He walked through, barely holding back a shudder. He pressed his hand against one of the still standing walls. Dust, dirt and soot immediately clung to his fingertips. He looked around, the memory of his home springing to life before him. Phantom images of his parents in the kitchen making food or in the main living space reading to him flashed in his eyes. He smiled for just a moment at the memory before it all came crashing down at a sight he did not expect to see. There, huddled together on the ground, not ten feet from him, were two mostly decomposed skeletons. 

Caleb collapsed to the ground in tears.  _ "I'm so sorry… _ " He mumbled in Zemnian. Nott was immediately there to hold him, as was Beau, who was pulling him to his feet. 

"Come on. Let's get you out of here. I've got ya." 

With some help from Fjord, they were able to drag him out of the house and place him back on the cart. He wouldn't look at anyone. He felt shame rise in him. How could he cry over this? This was his fault. Well, it was Ikithon's but… Oh, it was complicated. 

Caleb pushed Jester away as she tried to paint on him. He couldn't handle that right now. He needed to be alone for a while. Plus, he could never tell Jester what he had done. He couldn't afford to lose something so good in his life. Once he calmed down he only let Nott come and sit in his lap for comfort. 

~~~

A few weeks later, after harrowingly escaping the capital, they found themselves back in Xhorhas. They knew where the Beacon was, they just needed to work on a plan to get it that didn't get them all killed. Caleb had just finished drawing a map of the capital as best he could remember it so that they could figure out a strategy. 

"Caleb?" A voice called out behind him. "It's late. Why aren't you in bed?" 

Turning, Caleb found Jester standing there.

"I just finished with the map. I wanted to get it done before I went to bed. What are you still doing up?" 

"Couldn't sleep. Beau is snoring really loudly."

Caleb nodded and looked over his work on the map. A thought struck him. He wasn't particularly tired, and it would be nice to spend a little bit of time with Jester. 

"Since neither of us can sleep, how about we paint?" 

Jester's face lit up. "Okay! Let me go get my paints!" She disappeared up the stairs. 

In the meantime, Caleb was going to roll his sleeves up when he noticed that he had gotten ink on his shirt. Frowning, he took it off and walked over to the washbin in the kitchen and tried to get the stain out. He hadn't heard Jester come back downstairs until he heard a soft, "Oh," come from behind him.

"Sorry," he said, looking at her. I noticed a stain and wanted to try and get it out." 

"No, it's okay!" Jester said a little too loudly. Was that a hint of a blush on her cheeks? No. Surely Caleb was imagining it. "I'll go get setup while you finish." She quickly turned and disappeared to the eating area. 

Caleb turned back to the wash bin, thoughts flying through his mind. Surely it was just a trick of the light. That wasn't a blush. And he definitely didn't see Jester's eyes trail down his body. That was his mind playing tricks on him. 

After a few minutes of ruthless scrubbing, he got most of it out, but there was still a stain. Maybe he could ask Cad in the morning for a proper way to get it out. He set it aside and walked back to where Jester was set up and sat next to her and presented his arms. She took his right one, beginning with his hand. 

"You know, my mama always said that the people who have hurt a lot in their lives, tend to keep to themselves, and the best way to get to know them is to find a similar interest in order to get to know them." She started a new color and design. "So, I got a book because I knew you liked books. And I remembered why I liked reading so much. Like, this one book that I'm reading is about this farmer who fell in love with a princess. So, one day he found her out in his fields. She had run away and wanted to just a few days solace from the castle. So, he let her stay. And after the few days she went back, taking his heart with her. But he could never tell her. She was a princess and he was a simple farmer. He could never make her happy. 

"But, flash forward to a couple years later. The farmer had a very good couple seasons and came out very profitable. He bought himself a fancy suit and attended a ball that the Queen was throwing for her daughter. And then," Jester changed paints again, "when the farmer walks in, the princess smiles at him. He asks to dance and she says yes, which makes the whole ballroom gasp, of course." 

"Of course. Very scandalous," Caleb chimed in. He had been watching her paint and listening to her talk so passionately about this story and felt himself inching closer. This story somehow felt so… familiar. 

"Right! So, anyways. They're dancing. And the princess, get this, says to him, 'I never forgot you, you know? I have spent every day comparing every man I that has tried to take my hand to you. None could ever be as kind or as wonderful as you.' And she kisses him!" 

The two of them were so close. Jester was nearly in his lap as she painted his elbow and upper arm. The two made eye contact and Jester hastily looked away. Caleb moved the arm she was painting so that he could gently tilted her face back towards his own. He wanted this so bad. He took the initiative before his brain could say anything and closed the gap between them. 

Kissing Jester was soft and sweet. Her lips were cotton candy against his calloused wood. The kiss was over just as quickly as it had begun. Caleb felt the heat in his cheeks and saw that Jester was wearing a blush as well. 

"Like that?" He asked, a bit coyly. 

"Just like that," she giggled. She leaned in and kissed him again, letting it linger for just a moment before giggling again and going back to painting. 

Caleb watched her with a permanent smile on his face. He almost let her paint his whole torso but decided that they should at some point actually  _ try _ to go to sleep. He helped her clean up and walked her up to her room, where they kissed a few more times. 

"I don't know what you see in me, Jester, but I am glad. You have… allowed me to become a better man, to become the man my parents knew I could be. Tomorrow, maybe we can talk properly about all of this, ja?" 

"Okay, Caleb. Good night."

"Good night." 

The door closed and Caleb walked back downstairs to his room. He set his alarms, then sat on his bed, tracing over the paint designs with his fingers. This was mostly just mixed colors. There was a Captain Tucktooth symbol on the back of his hand, and a small blue heart on his bicep, but other than that it was just assorted colors, like the colliding of two forced into one, creating something beautiful in the aftermath. Maybe, just maybe, Caleb could let himself have this. He could save this one happy thing for himself to love and cherish.

Maybe. 

**Author's Note:**

> This wonderful art is by the lovely daciafu.tumblr.com


End file.
